Abandoned memory

Have you ever once lay on the bed, finding each comfort fulfilling each inch on your skin to fill satisfied with and to wonder. Wonder deep beneath what we should wonder. Torturing these thought like a pin poking thru every cell. Squeezing that little amount of brain juice left just to fulfill the desire of the question “why?” Any form of why’s

It is this bitter sweet feeling to be able to remember someone or certain event that holds so much in the depth of our thoughts. When this particular someone have the ability to let you deserve to feel the euphoric moments in life and that made you feel this genuine happiness all over again. For a moment this radiant feeling rush thru us like it felt forever and the reality is we all know forever did not once exist. Forever is a word to comfort what the heart needs to feel in order to keep pushing ourselves to survive another day, to have the courage to wake up and hoping so much that things will be okay. To put one leg in front of another to at least make a step forward in life. To be able to be thankful that even tomorrow there’s a chance of change, a chance of forever. Crazy isn’t it?  To have hope in ‘forever’. I think that explains a lot why most broken soul or lost soul feels as though they just barely exist.

Memories created because of that kind of overwhelmed feeling or phobic feeling that have had happened. Too many emotions and thoughts going through at one point of time and that Is when you know it’s up. It’s over; it’s your breaking point. It is indeed filled with dread.

We often also forget about the ones who make our day just by the little-lest things or unseen effort they’ve put in.

Peel back these layers of insecurity, there's a garden underneath your skin where tulips, daisies and roses are blooming between your rips. It grows in you. And it takes that one human to see how beautiful it has created you as a whole together. Again, do you ask yourself “why?”

Again, the word 'why' paralyzed this feeling that i sucked in and feel good for 2 minutes.

"That smell of cigarettes that he inhale to exhale pain with that sporty vibe of perfumes makes you question yourself why does even this little things of him matters anymore? And that is all because you are In love with his memories, not him. He is over. it is his memories that you hold somewhere down beneath hoping it will sway away one fine day." 

 And that is my abandoned memory. 

-nishusan