Have you
ever once lay on the bed, finding each comfort fulfilling each inch on your
skin to fill satisfied with and to wonder. Wonder deep beneath what we should
wonder. Torturing these thought like a pin poking thru every cell. Squeezing
that little amount of brain juice left just to fulfill the desire of the
question “why?” Any form of why’s
It is this
bitter sweet feeling to be able to remember someone or certain event that holds
so much in the depth of our thoughts. When this particular someone have the
ability to let you deserve to feel the euphoric moments in life and that made
you feel this genuine happiness all over again. For a moment this radiant
feeling rush thru us like it felt forever and the reality is we all know forever
did not once exist. Forever is a word to comfort what the heart needs to feel
in order to keep pushing ourselves to survive another day, to have the courage
to wake up and hoping so much that things will be okay. To put one leg in front
of another to at least make a step forward in life. To be able to be thankful
that even tomorrow there’s a chance of change, a chance of forever. Crazy isn’t
it? To have hope in ‘forever’. I think
that explains a lot why most broken soul or lost soul feels as though they just
barely exist.
Memories
created because of that kind of overwhelmed feeling or phobic feeling that have
had happened. Too many emotions and thoughts going through at one point of time
and that Is when you know it’s up. It’s over; it’s your breaking point. It is
indeed filled with dread.
We often
also forget about the ones who make our day just by the little-lest things or
unseen effort they’ve put in.
Peel back
these layers of insecurity, there's a garden underneath your skin where tulips,
daisies and roses are blooming between your rips. It grows in you. And it takes
that one human to see how beautiful it has created you as a whole together.
Again, do you ask yourself “why?”
Again, the
word 'why' paralyzed this feeling that i sucked in and feel good for 2
minutes.
"That smell
of cigarettes that he inhale to exhale pain with that sporty vibe of perfumes
makes you question yourself why does even this little things of him matters
anymore? And that is all because you are In love with his memories, not him. He
is over. it is his memories that you hold somewhere down beneath hoping it will
sway away one fine day."
And that is my abandoned memory.
-nishusan
